The Drunk Texts
by emerald-mind
Summary: In which Arthur gets drunk - classic - and Francis just happens to text him. "Bonsoir!" that is the starting point of this very curious conversation. Starring unedited CleverBot as a very IC drunk!England and moi as the ever-charming France. Just for laughs, for FrUk's sake!


Francis: Bonsoir!

**Arthur: Comment ca ve.**

Francis: Hon hon hon, you speak French like little brother Italy 3.

**Arthur: Quelle est la couleur du cheval blanc d'Henry 4 ?**

Francis: Henry got a white horse? From who?

**Arthur: Who was Henry VIII?**

Francis: ... Arthur, is that you?

**Arthur: My friend Kayden called me beautiful.**

Francis: ... Quoi!? Who is Kayden?

**Arthur: I don't know this persone.**

Francis: You speak bad French and make very little sense while trying to make me jealous. England, you've been drinking again.

**Arthur: No, I don't.**

Francis: Of course not, hon hon hon, you're cute 3.

**Arthur: I know.**

Francis: ... do you think big brother France is cute too?

**Arthur: What?!**

Francis: Hon hon, do you think I'm cute?

**Arthur: I don't know what you look like.**

France: After all this time you STILL use that excuse?

**Arthur: Always.**

Francis: Oh god, you've been reading Harry Potter AGAIN?

**Arthur: I don't read.**

Francis: ... oui, oui. You only say that because you realized it was a line from a love scene 3.

**Arthur: No. I'm a human being.**

Francis: As a matter of fact you're a nation... What's that got to do with anything anyway?

**Arthur: You asked me about hair. I have no hair.**

Francis: Cher, last time I checked your eyebrows alone would be enough.

**Arthur: I did. My parents were there at my birth, not you.**

Francis: Thank God for that, hon hon, yet I've known you since you were little 3.

**Arthur: Thank god for what?**

Francis: For not being there to witness your make-belief birth...

**Arthur: I'm sorry, I'm having trouble understanding what your saying.**

Francis: Hey! You make fun of my accent when we talk and now when we text? In English!

**Arthur: Why would I make fun of you?**

Francis: I don't know :( I'd much prefer if you'd admit that you love me 3.

**Arthur: Yes, I am aware. I am currently working on the 'Global Warming Operation'.**

Francis: ... is this dirty talking in a British way?

**Arthur: YES!**

Francis: Hon hon hon! It is clear which one of us is the country of love. Yet, I can't resist you 3.

**Arthur: So then you would have no problem telling me about Gordon Freeman then, right?**

Francis: U-uh... What are you talking about?

**Arthur: No, I asked forst, what are YOU talking about?!**

Francis: Oh! Are you jealous? Hon hon, Arthur, we were only talking, besides he's not half as pretty as you 3.

**Arthur: Were we now? What is my ultimate goal?**

Francis: ... to get in my pants? Hon hon :33.

**Arthur: I would like to one day, but I highly doubt that would ever happen.**

Francis: (_Oh mon dieu, wow_) Quoi? Why? I feel the same way about you 3.

**Arthur: Pfft.**

Francis: Why don't you believe that I love you?

**Arthur: You love me?**

Francis: Silly you, of course I do mon Angleterre 3.

**Arthur: Do remember who I am?**

Francis: You are the only one I think about, so of course :3.

**Arthur: YES I am, you're hurting with the things you're saying to me.**

Francis: Mais non! Don't say that! I only speak the truth!

**Arthur: Speaking the truth does not equal superiority, you are petty to me.**

Francis: ... and someone just returned to their British temper.

**Arthur: *goes to bed*.**

Francis: Angleterre, don't be like that! Can I join you? 3.

**Arthur: *backs up against wall*.**

Francis: Hon hon, very funny. Let's say I'll come visit tomorrow so we can talk properly 3 Bises.

**Arthur: Okay. I like your name.**

Francis: I like yours (especially in French pronounciation) 3.

**Arthur: Thank you!**

Francis: ... this must mean you're really drunk. Oh well, bonne nuit, see you tomorrow, mon amour 3.

**Arthur: Bye.**

Francis: ... so cold! Not even a little bit of love?

**Arthur: Not even a little.**

Francis: Rien a faire, that's the England I fell in love with 3.

**Arthur: Um no.**

Francis: Cute. Really now, sleep tight 3.

**Arthur: Don't let the bed bugs bite.**

Francis: 3.


End file.
